As Long as It Takes
by WritingForMySoul12
Summary: This fic was inspired by 12x3 "Behave". It's an angsty slow burn fic between Olivia and Vicki Sayers. TW. It starts off canon until it's not. Olivia is determined to help Vicki. Vicki isn't sure anyone can. Olivia promises to stand by her. And eventually the two fall for each other. Olivia helps Vicki heal and Vicki helps Olivia love and accept love in return.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in SVU. I only own characters I create.**

 **A/N: I missed writing! And I haven't abandoned any of my other stories, I have been through alot and lost my motivation. This idea popped into my head after recently re-watching** _ **Behave.**_ **This is going to be a slow burn fic. Not overly slow but slow. The beginning will be angsty but I hope to turn it into a light-hearted fluffy romantic story. Also TW because I'm still me.**

 **Chapter One**

As Vicki reached for her hand and continued to talk about her series of rapes by Bill Harris over the span of sixteen years, Olivia feels her heart break for the young woman.

"I didn't know what to do!" Vicki cried. "So I moved back here with my Mom, until she died seven months ago." She sobbed.

Olivia squeezed Vicki's hand reassuringly as the nurse continued the exam. "And then he attacked you again last night?" She asked.

Vicki's lip trembled, and she nodded. "Yes." She locked eyes with Olivia, "Are you really going to get him?" She asked almost desperately.

Olivia squeezed Vicki's hand once again, "If it's the last thing I do." She said.

Vicki wasn't so sure she actually believed Olivia or not, but what else could she do? Someone finally stepped in and maybe it was time to let someone in. It's been years. She has been dealing with the torture for years. Alone. Because she would rather push people away, they would leave anyway. Her parents wanted her to act like it never happened and when she went off to college and the second attack happened she just ran away. Then she met Scott, she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him and when her third attack happened the week before their wedding, she had to break up with him. He just couldn't understand why she freaked out every time he tried to touch her. She sighed and tried to go somewhere else.

After the exam was finished, Olivia drove Vicki back to her place.

"Thank you." Vicki said quietly, opening the car door.

"Vicki, wait." Olivia says. She digs around for a pen and a piece of paper before scribbling her personal cell number on it. "Here, call me anytime." She stresses anytime, because she would answer Vicki's call whenever she needed her. If she would let her help. She really wanted to.

Vicki looks down at the number, planning to tear it up as soon as she got inside. She couldn't get close to someone else again just to let them in and get even more broken when they leave. "Ok, thank you." She says hurriedly opening the car door and darting inside her house.

* * *

Olivia hesitated for a few moments before pulling into the traffic and heading to her house. She got in the door and kicked off her shoes. She placed her badge and gun on the small table before heading down the hall to her bedroom and master bathroom. After she showered she picked at a salad and mindlessly flipped through the channels, before huffing and clicking the T.V. off in frustration. After placing the salad on her night stand, she dived into her pillows and rolled onto her side, curling into a ball. She shut her eyes and sighed. She tossed and turned. She couldn't stop thinking about Vicki. Haunted by the broken look on her face when she asked if she would stay with her.

As long as it takes.

Olivia slept restlesly until her alarm went off and she turned it off. She sighed in disappointment that Vicki hadn't called her and made a note to call her later.

* * *

Vicki stayed up all night. She couldn't sleep. She was sitting curled up in her living room on the couch, rubbing the small piece of paper clutched in her hand. She didn't know why she still had it. She knew Olivia was just being nice and doing her job. She wasn't going to burden her any further. She crumpled the paper and tossed it to the other side of the couch. She stood to her feet and groaned at her bodies protest after being curled up for the past few hours, heading to her bathroom and starting a bath. She dropped some bubble bath in and watched the tub fill up, methodically stripping off the clothes. She melted into the soothing water and inhaled the lavendar scent from the bubbles. She relaxed into the tub and let the tears flow. She reached over and grabbed the razor sitting in the shower caddy and took off the safety cap, horizontally dragging the blade across her inner wrist. She hadn't done this in years but she was still mesmerized as she watched small beads of red begin to bubble up as the sting from the cut began to feel good.

* * *

Olivia sighed and tapped on her keyboard only looking up when she saw movement out of her peripheral vision.

Elliot sighed and took a look at his partner and friend. "You here all night?" He asked already knowing the answer. Sitting a cup of coffee in front of her.

She takes a sip and sighs in approval and appreciation. "Thanks. Yeah I got a couple hours in the crib." She said tiredly.

"Anything?" Elliot asked.

"Not yet. He's good at his job and highly praised for it. He's never married, he lives alone and no kids. Problem with women?" She says.

"Or he's gay. Doesn't make him a rapist Liv." Elliot replies gently, moving to his desk.

Just then Olivia's computer pinged letting her know she had a new e-mail. She opened it and read it and then her eyes widened. "But this might." She said turning her screen so Elliot could see the message.

After sharing their latest findings with Captain Cragen, Olivia heads over to Vicki's house.

* * *

"Vicki it's Olivia." Olivia says pressing on the bars outside Vicki's door trying to will them out of her way. She had this unsettling feeling in the pit of her stomach that something was wrong.

Vicki heard Olivia at the door and she was quickly trying to pull on sweats and a t-shirt, while also trying to get a bandage on her fresh cuts. "Fuck." She said quietly.

After almost a minute Olivia knocked again. "Vicki, please let me in." Her worry was increasing.

"I'm coming!" Vicki called. She slipped on a sweater and went to the door. "Hello Detective Benson."

"Can I come in?" Olivia asked. Relief filling her as she saw the young woman was seemingly alright.

Vicki opened the security door and moved aside to let her in. "I guess."

Olivia stepped inside and watched Vicki close and lock both doors.

Vicki lead Olivia into her living room and gestured for the detective to have a seat.

"So what's going on?" Vicki asked, her anxiety rising.

"I think there might be a way to get him. He busted out a window of his hotel room the same night you were raped." Olivia said.

"O-ok...but that doesn't really prove anything right?" She asked. Disappointment evident in her voice.

"He also put the mileage it would take to make the trip from his hotel and back again on the rental car he had." Olivia said hopefully.

Vicki nodded. Her arm began to burn and she thoughtlessly rubbed it.

Olivia noticed. "Are you ok?" She asked.

Vicki's eyes widened and she cussed herself for getting caught. "Yeah, yes, I-I uh accidentally cut myself cooking." She lied. It wasn't an accident and she hadn't eaten in days.

Olivia's features softened. "Do you want me to take a look?" She asked reaching for Vicki's arm. "I have first aid training."

Vicki stood up and began to get a little panicked. "No it's fine. I put a bandaid on it. C-could you please just leave?" She asked looking down at the carpeted floor.

"I could help you if you let me Vicki." Olivia says softly, rising to her feet. "I wish you would let me." She says slowly walking toward Vicki.

"Please don't Detective Benson." Vicki begged as her resolve began to crumble.

"I told you to call me Olivia." Olivia said reaching for Vicki's arm and easily raising the sleeve. She frowned at being right about her suspicions. The bandage had began to bleed through. "Vicki..." She whispered. She gently pulled her into a hug.

Vicki broke down in Olivia's arms. All the care and tenderness she felt in that hug she felt safe enough to let go.

Maybe she could let Olivia in. Maybe she would try.

 **So...?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters of SVU. Just the ones I create.**

 **A/N: TW.**

 **Chapter Two**

Olivia stood in the middle of Vicki's living room holding her and whispering words of comfort. It didn't seem like the small brunette was going to stop crying anytime soon so Olivia lead them back to the couch and pulled Vicki tight against her.

"It's ok honey. You're not alone." She said in a hushed tone of voice.

Vicki pulled away from Olivia and brought her knees up to her chest. "Yes I am."

"Not anymore. You have me now." Olivia said.

She couldn't understand the overwhelming need she had to help this woman.

Vicki was starting to make her feel things. Things she hadn't felt in years.

Olivia was drawn in the moment they locked eyes at the hospital.

Like a moth to a flame.

Hopefully they both didn't get burned.

* * *

Vicki was starting to freak out. She wanted Olivia to leave. She wanted to be alone so she could cut herself. Before she had a chance to try to get rid of Olivia again, the detective stopped her with a question.

"How long have you been cutting yourself?"

"This was the first time in years." Vicki said.

She wasn't sure what made her feel safe enough with Olivia to be so upfront about it.

Olivia was just doing her job though and she had to remind herself of that .

"You could have called me." Olivia said slightly upset.

Vicki grit her teeth and huffed out of irritation. "I know you're just trying to be nice and I'm not trying to burden you anymore than necessary."

"Why do you keep saying you know I'm just doing my job?" Olivia asked trying to catch Vicki's gaze.

Vicki wrapped her arms around herself and shrugged.

"Vicki, do you trust me?" Olivia asked.

There it was.

The big question.

"I want to but I know what this is. It's not like we will talk or see each other again after this is all over." Vicki said swallowing the lump in her throat.

"How do you know?" Olivia asked .

"How many of the people you help do you keep in contact with when the trial is over?" Vicki shot back.

Olivia was taken aback. She was almost ashamed of herself. But she had always tried to keep herself from getting too involved with the victims. She had never felt any of the feelings she was having toward Vicki with the other victims.

"I didn't feel for them what I feel for you." Olivia admitted.

"W-what?" Vicki said standing from the couch and moving away.

Olivia wanted to kick her own ass. 'Good job Olivia, great, freak the girl out even more!'

She stood up and slowly moved toward Vicki.

"What I mean is that you are not just another victim to me...I care about you so much and I want to help you get through this." Olivia said softly.

Vicki couldn't listen anymore. It was too confusing and she just needed to be alone. She wiped the tears from her face and looked at Olivia.

"Could you please just go?" She asked her voice breaking.

Olivia sighed and nodded and headed to the door. She paused and looked back at Vicki, "I'm just a phone call away. If you can't sleep, if you wanna talk or for any reason at all. Anytime." She said before letting herself out.

Vicki collapsed into wailing sobs on the living room floor.

Olivia had to force herself to go when she really wanted to stay.

Fuck you Olivia Benson. Just fuck you.

* * *

Olivia released the butterfly clip and felt her tension headache starting to fade.

"Hey Liv?" Elliot called.

"Yeah?" Olivia's voice cracked and she cleared her throat.

"You ok?" Elliot asked.

She looked at Elliot as tears filled her eyes, "I think I fucked up!" She put her face in her hands and her shoulders began to shake.

Elliot got up from his desk and pulled Olivia into a side hug. "What do you mean?" He asked confused.

Olivia sat up and looked at Elliot through red rimmed eyes and tears that refused to quit falling.

"Oh no...the Sayers case?" Elliot asked. Clarifying.

Olivia nodded.

"I knew it .I knew it the day we camped out outside her place and you wouldn't leave." Elliot said.

"I kind of told her that I care about her more than just a victim." Olivia said.

"Liv, she's really fragile right now. What were you thinking?" Elliot scolded lightly.

"I know ok?! I know. It just came out! She was sitting there telling me that I was just doing my job and it made me upset, so I said it." Olivia said.

"It will be ok Liv." Elliot said giving Olivia's shoulder a squeeze, before returning to his desk.

"I hope she reaches out to me. I don't want to be the reason she drops the charges and let's the bastard walk away." Olivia said.

* * *

It was 2:30 a.m. when Olivia's phone rang. She lazily reached for it from underneath the covers and tapped the screen. She didnt recognize the number through her bleary gaze.

"Hello?" She answered sleep evident in her voice.

"Did you mean it?"

Olivia sat up a little straighter in bed. "Vicki?"

"Yes. Did you mean it?" Vicki said.

"Did I mean what?" Olivia asked.

"Did you mean it when you said I wasn't alone anymore and that you would put him away?" Vicki asked.

"Yes. If I have to live with you for the next 20 years he will never touch you again." Olivia said.

"I'm scared..." Vicki said. She started sobbing softly. She just wanted it all to end.

Olivia kicked the covers off and began moving towards her bathroom.

"Vicki, do you want me to come over there?" Olivia asked already pulling on joggers and slipping on sneakers.

Vicki's crying was getting louder and Olivia was concerned. "I don't want to do this anymore."

"Vicki? Can you hear me?" Olivia asked again. She was running down her hallway towards her front door, scooping up her keys as she passed the small table.

Decision made. She was going whether Vicki wanted her there or not.

"P-please Olivia!" Vicki cried.

Olivia was backing out of her parking spot amd merging onto the street. "It's ok sweetheart. I'm on my way. Stay on the phone. I'll be there soon."

* * *

Fifteen minutes later Olivia was at Vicki's door.

"Vicki, it's Olivia!" She called.

Vicki came to the window and peeped through the curtain. "Press 1479 on the keypad." She said.

Olivia entered the numbers and let herself inside locking up behind herself. She barely realized what was happening when Vicki fell into her arms. She just held her.

"It's ok. I'm here now. It's ok." She whispered.

"I'm sorry I called you." Vicki started when Olivia cut her off.

"Stop. I told you to call me anytime." Olivia said. "Do you wanna talk about it?" She asked.

Vicki shook her head against the taller woman's chest.

"Ok. You don't have to talk if you don't want to." Olivia said. "But can we sit down?" She asked with a chuckle.

Vicki pulled back. "I'm sorry..."

Olivia sat on the couch and pulled Vicki beside her. "You have nothing to be sorry for." She reassured.

Olivia sat there and let Vicki cry in her arms. She would sit there all night if she had to.

As long as it takes.

Eventually Vicki was able to calm down enough to a point where she could talk.

"What if he gets away with it?" Vicki asks.

"Then I'll kill him." Olivia said.

Vicki's jaw dropped. "You would throw away your whole career just like that?" She asked. She couldn't believe it. Of course she found the woman attractive. She was strong, compassionate and caring. She was a catch. But Vicki knew she was too messed up for someone like Olivia Benson. "For me?"

"If it made you feel safe and you could heal from the past sixteen years it would be worth it." Olivia said.

"You don't even know me." Vicki said.

"No I don't but I see the pain you're in everyday and I know you need someone. Even just a friend. I want to be that person." Olivia said.

Vicki relaxed. "I think I can trust you and right now I do need a friend." She said resting her head on Olivia's shoulder. "Could you, I mean would you stay awhile?" She asked meekly.

Olivia snatched a throw off the end of the couch and draped it over the both of them. "As long as you need me."

Once Olivia heard the soft even breathes of Vicki sleeping she let her eyes slip shut. Knowing she was probably enjoying the feel of other woman against her a little too much. She didn't think she could stop herself from where she was heading if she wanted to.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own SVU or any of the SVU characters named. I only own the ones I make up.**

 **A/N: I'm really excited about this story! I'm happy to be writing again. TW. This will probably be boring, but now the burn really starts. So kinda promising?**

 **Chapter Three**

"You're all alike, everyone single one of you." Bill Harris said looking Olivia in the eye.

Olivia smirked and wrapped her arm around Vicki's shoulder. Leading her away from the scum. "C'mon Vicki."

"What just happened? You said he was gonna slip! He didn't slip!" Vicki was about to spazz out.

"Yes he did." Olivia says calmly.

Cocky even. Because she's just that good.

* * *

Back at the precinct Olivia, Elliot and Capt. Cragen were gathered around the evidence board pin pointing different rapes with the same pattern as Vickis.

"He said we were all alike, every single one of us. So I knew there had to be more victims." Olivia said typing away on the computer connected to the evidence board.

"Damn, sick son of a bitch has been raping all over the country." Elliot said.

"We gotta catch this bastard." Capt. Cragen said.

"Liv, gotta call from the PD in California about Vicki's rape kit." Fin said joining the group.

"They don't have it?" Olivia asked disappointment settling in to her features.

"Not exactly..." Fin said.

Vicki's California rape kit was lost. And Olivia didn't hesitate to book a flight to go find it herself.

* * *

Once Olivia made it to California and after some brief R & R she met with Rex Winters.

"Detective Benson." Olivia said professionally.

"Hello Detective. The results are still processing, but in the meantime I found somethibg that might interest you." Winters said.

"Something good I hope. I need to make a break in this case and get this scum off the streets." Olivia said.

"Back in 2000 William Harris rented a storage space." Rex said.

"The same year Vicki was raped." Olivia said.

Processing.

"We need to get a warrant to get in there!" Olivia said.

Rex slipped the warrant out of his inner blazer pocket and held it up, "Way ahead of you." He says with a shit-eating grin.

"Let's go." Olivia demands.

Once there, they pop the lock and flip on the lights.

Looking around, when the space is fully lit.

The back wall is covered with photos of Vicki and other women. A video playing of Vicki during different stages of her life. Evidence that the sick bastard has been stalking her for years.

A plush black leather chair in the middle of the room with a small stand, a box of tissues a bottle of lube and a few used tissues line the top.

Olivia's face twists in disgust.

"He comes here to get off."

Olivia's mouth hung open at how sick Bill Harris is.

She gravitated to a table that held several items that belonged to Vicki.

"Hey..." Rex says holding out a book to Olivia.

Olivia takes it and flips through it.

"He's written down every date he raped her, he's got her drivers permit, her engagement ring, this box is full of the underwear he stole from her apartment. This place is a good mine." Olivia says.

Winters and Olivia leave the storage unit as the team Rex called arrived to pack everything up.

"Go catch the prick." Rex says as they part ways.

"When I do I'm gonna send you his ass on a silver platter." Olivia says.

"No good here. Statutes ran out for Vicki about three weeks ago." Rex says with a frown.

"You knew that and still had me come out here?!" Olivia begins to get upset.

"But I knew you could. Go get him." Rex says before turning and going inside.

* * *

Olivia squirmed in her seat in court as she watched Vicki be cross examined by Harris's lawyer.

She began squeezing her hands, her knuckles nearly turning white.

All she could do was sit there and watch as the lawyer nearly tore Vicki to shreds.

Tore what happened to her to shreds.

Vicki got down from the witness stand and sat by Olivia. Being close to Olivia helping to calm her nerves. She wanted to reach for her hand but she didn't know how the detective would take it.

She listened to the judges decision. That basically Bill Harris is innocent. Lack of evidence bullshit. He gets to be free.

Like it never happened.

The bang of the gavel went through her like a thousand knives, it was over.

"How can she do that?" Vicki asked Olivia. Tears welling up in her eyes.

Olivia placed her hands on Vicki's shoulders, offering a publicly acceptable amount of comfort.

"Vicki... We are gonna get him, I promise." She said softly.

Vicki pushes away from Olivia, tears falling.

"Just stop making promises you can't keep!" She snapped. "You are NEVER gonna get him! I was so stupid to think I was ever gonna get any justice!"

She turned and ran from the court room.

Leaving Olivia standing there.

Feeling like shit.

"Vicki..." She sighed.

* * *

Olivia walked into the room to see Elliot boxing up some evidence.

Elliot didn't have to turn around to know his partner was there.

"Case is being turned over to FBI now." He said grimly.

Olivia groans frustrated. "It's like we are telling the victims they don't matter and telling the rapists they can get away with it!"

She angrily walks over to a box and snatches up and evidence bag. Fiddling with it she sees 1991-1998.

"OMG. We might have had him all along." Olivia says tossing the roll of tape to Elliot and rushing out of the room.

* * *

"Vicki! Please open up! It's detective Benson! Olivia!"

Vicki had been in the middle of cutting and thinking about just killing herself when she heard all the commotion. She pulled up her pants without patching up the cuts on her thighs and stormed to the door.

"What?!" She said harshly.

"Vicki, the night Harris broke in to your apartment, did he force you?" Olivia asks.

"I already told you." Vicki said.

"I know just...please think back. What did he tie you up with?" Olivia begs.

"Why do you want me to go through that again?" Vicki asks wanting to close the door and try to forget.

"How long did he stay?" Olivia asks.

"Duct tape and he stayed all night and into the next day. He didn't even take it off before he left. It took me hours to get free and call the cops." Vicki said.

"It got lost didn't know it was there." Olivia says apologetically.

* * *

Olivia and Elliot arrest Bill Harris again.

"I didn't go near that woman!" Harris says in a weak attempt.

"Unfortunately for you there is no statute on kidnapping." Elliot says putting on the cuffs ans leading Harris out of the restaurant.

At the police station, Vicki follows closely behind as Elliot and Olivia march her tormentor to a cell.

"Vicki, you know it wasn't rape! Tell them! I love you...I I love you!" Bill Harris says.

Before Elliot could slam the gate shut, Vicki catches it and locks eyes with Harris.

"Now I'll always know where YOU are, BEHAVE yourself!" She seethes.

The satisfaction of closing the door on her tormentors made her feel powerful and she proudly walked away.

* * *

 _A few months later..._

Olivia couldn't stop thinking about Vicki. Hoping to hear from the young woman. She went to her place once and received the news that Vicki had moved.

Her heart ached for Vicki. Hoping wherever she was that she was ok.

"Liv?" Elliot called.

"Yeah El?" Olivia answered.

"You wanna go for drinks tonight with me and Kath?" He asked.

He could see his partner and best friend was becoming down in the dumps.

"No. No thanks. I think I'll go home, order some takeout and drink some wine." Olivia said.

"You sure?" Elliot pressed.

Olivia nodded.

Lying really.

She shutdown her computer for the night and collected her things. Just as she picked up her phone it lit up with a number she didn't recognize. She answered out of habit.

"Benson." She said.

"Olivia?"

That voice. So soft and a very welcome surprise.

"Vicki?!"

"I know it's been awhile but I was wondering if you wanted to meet me somewhere?" Vicki said tentatively.

"Just give me an address." Olivia said rushing to the elevator doors of the precinct.

* * *

Olivia slid into the booth across from the woman who she hadn't seen or heard from since she marched out of the precinct.

She took her in.

Vicki had gained some healthy weight. She seemed more confident. Less scared.

"Vicki. How are you?" Olivia asked.

Vicki took a sip of her drink, swallowed and set her glass down, never taking her eyes off of Olivia.

"Would you like a drink?" Vicki asked.

Olivia shook her head. She does stupid things when she drinks.

Like sleeping with Brian Cassidy.

Making out with that cocky asshole from FBI.

She knew if she drank she would definitely kiss Vicki Sayers and that would be very stupid. And she didn't want to run the woman off. Not after the long three months of wondering about her.

"No thank you." Olivia said.

Vicki nodded and curiously tilted her head to the side.

"I moved a week after he was locked up. It's kind of my thing." Vicki started rolling her eyes at herself. "I was really depressed. I was going to kill myself. But I found your number on that piece of paper. I really wanted to call but I was so fucked up. You didn't call me so I thought you forgot about me."

"I didn't. I thought about you everyday." Olivia said slowly sliding her hands across the table to hold Vicki's.

"I've been in therapy." Vicki says softly. Feeling the warmth from Olivia's hands start tracing up her arm and settling into places she wasn't ready to admit yet.

"How is it going?" Olivia asks.

Trying not to push boundaries.

But were there any boundaries anymore?

"I talked about you constantly for the first few weeks." Vicki said.

"Is that bad?" Olivia asked.

"No, but my therapist thinks I have feelings for you." Vicki said.

"Vicki, I told you once how I felt..." Olivia started. She squeezed the brunettes hands. "I still feel that way."

Vicki leaned closer, over the table.

"And I think, my therapist was right." Vicki said. "But I'm scared."

"I'm not going to hurt you Vicki." Olivia said.

"How many times do I have to keep telling you not to make promises to me that you can't keep?" Vicki says before closing the distance and pressing her lips onto Olivia's.

It was over nearly as soon as it started.

Vicki was pulling her hands out of Olivia's and starting to leave.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Olivia."

"I will wait as long as it takes Vicki." Olivia says before standing and cupping Vicki's cheeks and wiping the tears that had started to fall. "I'm not sorry."


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Finally an update. I'm glad the story is well received so far :). I know this pairing is different but they just had so much chemistry.**

 **Disclaimer: I do NOT own SVU. Nor any of the characters. Just the ones I make up.**

 **Chapter Four**

Vicki wiped the tears from her face and cleared her throat.

"Why am I always crying when I'm around you?" She asks.

Irritated at her own weakness.

She puts some distance between herself and the detective.

Olivia put her hands into her coat pockets and inhales deeply before answering her. "I don't know. Maybe I make you feel things you haven't felt in a long time."

Vicki nods.

"Yeah, maybe." She takes a step towards Olivia. "Do you wanna come back to my place?"

Olivia was about to say 'no' when Vicki cut her off.

"Not to have sex. I - I'm not ready for sex." She blushed.

But she was so turned on.

Maybe she had too many drinks before Olivia met her at the bar.

"I'm not going to push you to do anything you don't want to do Vicki." Olivia said with a small smile.

"So, come back to my place?" Vicki asks again.

Olivia couldn't say no.

She didn't want to.

"Ok." She gives in.

She was screwed because when it came to Vicki she would always give in.

"Great. Can you drive? Because I'm a little drunk." She admits swaying before grasping the table.

Olivia laughs lightly and reaches out her arm so Vicki could hold onto her.

* * *

Vicki unlocks her door and pushes it open and sweeps her hand for Olivia to go in first. She closes and locks the door once they're both inside. Then flips on the lights.

Olivia takes a look around. The apartment was more open.

"Do you like it?" Vicki asks.

Olivia turns around and wraps her arms around Vicki.

"It's not dark anymore." Olivia says.

Vicki looks up at Olivia and smiles sadly, "That doesn't mean that parts of me still aren't."

"It's ok. I want to see those parts too." Olivia says hugging the young woman closer to herself.

Vicki felt herself getting sleepy. "Sit with me?" She asks trying to hold back a yawn.

Vicki and Olivia snuggled into the big plush couch in the living room.

"Are we going to talk about what's happening between us? Or about that kiss first?" Olivia asked after a few moments of comfortable silence.

Vicki tenses up beside Olivia and sighs. "I could try to blame it on the alcohol...Or I could tell you the truth." She starts.

Olivia turns to face Vicki face on. "Tell me."

"I kissed you because I wanted to." Vicki admits. "I couldn't stop thinking about you. I can't help the way I feel about you and that scares me."

Olivia gently places her hands on Vicki's face and places her forehead against Vicki's forehead. "I feel those same feelings Vicki. You are safe with me." She leans in wanting to feel the softness of Vicki's lips again, hopefully longer.

"Please don't hurt me." Vicki whispers before closing her eyes and closing the distance between herself and the detective. Tears fell like raindrops from her eyes. But she continued to let her lips move with Olivia's.

Olivia tasted the salt from Vicki's tears and pulled back to look at her. "Are you ok?" She asked slightly out of breath.

Vicki was in a daze. "Uh huh, why did you stop?"

Horny.

Why wasn't she dragging Olivia off to her bedroom?

"Because I don't want to push you into something you're not ready for." Olivia said.

"Thank you." Vicki said.

She wanted Olivia.

To be with her.

"What about if we go on a date after I get off work tomorrow?" Olivia asked.

"What about your job?" Vicki asked back.

"What about it?" Olivia shot back. A sexy smirk lining her face.

"Isn't there some rule you're breaking?" Vicki asks.

"Do you feel like I'm forcing you to date me?" Olivia asked.

"No." Vicki said firmly.

"Ok. Your case has been solved. Everything happening between us is consensual. I'll talk to Capt. Cragen when I go in tomorrow. We aren't doing anything wrong." Olivia says winding her fingers with the brunette.

* * *

The next morning as promised, first thing she was in her boss's office.

"Vicki Sayers and I have begun to see each other. Romantically. Captain." Olivia said.

No beating around the bush.

"You realize there could be certain implications and IAB could make something out of this if something happened to her." Capt. Cragen stated.

"Yes sir. I do." Olivia said standing from her seat.

"I'm not worried." Capt. Cragen said. Picking up his pen and lookong back down to his paperwork. "Get back to work Liv."

Olivia nodded and left the office.

She had just sat back down at her desk when she heard her phone vibrate. She smiled when she saw it was a message from Vicki.

' _How did it go?'_

 _'It went great. I'll pick you up at 8 tonight.'_

 _'Ok, I'll see you tonight :)...where are you taking me by the way?'_

 _'Im not telling you...'_

Olivia set her phone back down and flipped open the file on her desk. The excitement of her first date with Vicki keeping her motivated throughout the day.

* * *

Olivia tapped on Vicki's door and waited for the young woman to open it. Presenting a bouquet of flowers when she did.

Sunflowers.

Bright and beautiful.

Just like Vicki. She deserved more than the cliche bouquet of roses.

"They're beautiful. Thank you." Vicki says taking the flowers and smelling them.

"You're welcome." Olivia said. She checks Vicki out.

She's wearing a navy blue dress cut above the knee and showing a small amount of cleavage. Gold heels. Hair down in ringlets and light makeup.

"You look absolutely beautiful." Olivia said.

Vicki took her breathe away.

Vicki blushed, eyes batting. "Thank you. You look beautiful yourself."

Olivia was dressed in a black dress that hugged her curves and black boots with a heel. A smoky eye and pink lipstick for the night to complete her look.

"Thank you. Are you ready to go?"

"Yes. Just let me get my coat." Vicki says leaning in and pecking Olivia's cheek. She grabs her coat and clutch off the kitchen counter and closes and locks the door.

"Are you still not telling me where you're taking me?" Vicki asks after Olivia gets in and starts up the car.

"Nope." Olivia says with a sly smile.

"Could I have a clue?" Vicki asks.

"I think you will like it. That's all you're getting out of me." Olivia said merging into the street.

Olivia parks her car in a lot and gets out, going around to open the door for Vicki.

"Where are we?" Vicki asks.

The building looked like a hole in the wall. The type of place you wouldn't know was there unless you knew to look for it.

"This is one of my favorite spots. It's a jazz lounge called 'Snaps'. It's secluded, good food, dancing and good music." Olivia said.

"Lead the way." Vicki said. She slipped her hand into Olivias.

They walked into a dimly lit building which the outside didn't do it justice. It was elegant and romantic.

"Wow." Vicki said taking it all in.

Olivia lead them to a booth in a corner close to the dance floor. She helped Vicki out of her coat and slipped her own off, tossing them at the end of the seat.

A waitress walked over to their table and handed them menus, taking their drink orders before she left.

Vicki slides her hand onto Olivia's leg under the table.

"This place is incredible." She says.

"Yeah it's great. Do you know what you want to eat?" Olivia asks looking over the menu.

Vicki frowned. She hadn't been ready for food just yet. "What's good here?" She asked.

"All of their stuff is good." Olivia assured. She looked up from her menu and observed Vicki's body language. Being a detective, even while on a date she started to connect the dots. She placed her menu down on the table and folded it shut.

"Vicki, do you have an eating disorder?" She asked.

Vicki turned her face in embarrassment. "I'm working on it." She whispered.

"Hey, sweetheart, I'm not trying to bust you. I'm concerned. I care about you so much." Olivia said softly.

Vicki offered her a tearful smile. "I'm a mess Olivia."

"I don't give a fuck Vicki." Olivia shot back.

Vicki scooted closer to Olivia in the booth. "Dance with me?" She asked.

Olivia stood to her feet and offered Vicki her hand. Pulling her onto the dance floor and into her arms. Swaying to the music.

Vicki relaxed into the taller woman's embrace. "I hope we get to do this again."

"We will. Whenever you want." Olivia promised.

Vicki looked up at Olivia, her hands around her neck. "Please kiss me."

Olivia leans down and kisses the shorter woman softly. Slightly sucking on her bottom lip before pulling away.

"Olivia..." Vicki says. Her voice laced with lust.

"Vicki, no matter how bad I want you. It's not going to happen tonight." Olivia said gingerly squeezing Vicki's hips.

Olivia wanted her so bad. But Vicki was special not just some type of a quick lay.

"Why not?" Vicki asks.

"Because you're not ready. And you will regret it in the morning. I want to be with you and right now that means waiting." Olivia said.

"How do you do that?" Vicki asked amazed.

"Do what? What am I doing?" Olivia asked. A grin spreading on her face.

"You're making me feel safe. So safe when I'm with you." Vicki says before cupping Olivia's face in her hands and pulling her in for a searing kiss.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Life gets in the way sometimes...**

 **Chapter Five**

 **No matter how bad they wanted each other, Olivia and Vicki fell asleep horny yet happy in each other's arms.**

 **Vicki woke up first and took in Olivia's beautiful face. She watched Olivia's lips pucker and wondered what she dreamed of. She thought Olivia was the most beautiful woman she had ever seen. Not just physically but her very soul made her beautiful.**

 **Olivia started to stir.**

 **Vicki eased some of the chestnut locks behind her ear and started gently massaging her scalp.**

 **"Good morning." Olivia said trying to force her eyes to stay open.**

 **"Good morning." Vicki said back.**

 **"Mmm..." Olivia moaned.**

 **She literally moaned.**

 **"That feels good." She scooted closer to Vicki.**

 **"I'm really happy Olivia." Vicki said softly.**

 **Like a confession.**

 **Like a prayer.**

 **Olivia reaches up and cups Vicki's face, staring deep into her eyes.**

 **"I'm happy too." She says.**

 **Vicki leans in to capture Olivia's lips.**

 **Olivia sighs happily and her lips began to move with Vicki's.**

 **Kissing and kissing.**

 **Like they had been kissing for years.**

 **Vicki, feeling bold , straddled Olivia and began to touch her everywhere she could touch. Olivia's skin was so soft she couldn't get enough.**

 **Olivia was beginning to get really really aroused. She pulled away from Vicki's mouth gasping for air.**

 **"Fuck..." Olivia moaned.**

 **"Is that what you want?" Vicki asked huskily.**

 **She leaned close to Olivia's ear and whispered, "Do you want me to fuck you?"**

 **Then she was licking and sucking her way up Olivia's neck. Her hands were making their way higher and higher underneath Olivia's dress, cupping her full lace covered breasts.**

 **"Wait...time out..." Olivia said gently rolling the smaller woman off of her.**

 **She turned to fully face the woman who had come to mean so much to her in so little time.**

 **"Vicki...you have no idea how badly I want to give in to you. But you also don't know that I want to give you the same pleasure you give me. I meant what I said. I will wait until you're ready." Olivia said.**

 **"Why are you so good to me?" Vicki asked.**

 **"Because you deserve someone to be good to you." Olivia said a small smile spreading on her face.**

 **"Please don't hurt me." Vicki said softly.**

 **If Olivia hadn't been laying next to her she probably wouldn't have heard it.**

 **"I would shoot myself if I ever even thought about it." Olivia says promisingly.**

 **Vicki begins to untangle herself from her sheets wrapped around her waist and sits up against her headboard. She looks down at Olivia, "What are we?" She wonders out loud.**

 **"What do you mean?" Olivia asked.**

 **"Are we dating? Are we girlfriends?" Vicki asked.**

 **Olivia sat up and crossed her legs and gazed into Vicki's eyes. "Would you like to be my girlfriend?"**

 **"Yes, I-I'm crazy about you Olivia." Vicki murmured.**

 **Something about the way she said her name.**

 **It made her shudder.**

 **Olivia leaned in and kissed Vicki's lips.**

 **"So... you're my girlfriend." Olivia said with a beaming smile.**

 **"And you're my girlfriend." Vicki said.**

 **"Do you wanna get breakfast before I have to go to work?" Olivia asked.**

 **"Yes." Vicki said moving toward her master bathroom. She stopped and turned to look at Olivia.**

 **Yeah she definitely liked the look of a disheveled detective in her bed.**

 **Olivia felt Vicki's gaze on her and felt a smile spread on her face. "What?" She said coyly.**

 **"I was just enjoying the look of you with messy hair, in my bed." Vicki said winking at Olivia.**

 **She closed the bathroom door and started taking off her clothes. She looked at her naked body, focusing on the cuts on her legs and her stomach. She just knew if Olivia saw them that it would be over. She was ugly, fat and a freak.**

 **Olivia was playing "bejeweled" on her phone when she heard poorly muffled sobs coming through the bathroom door. She kicked the covers off and stood from the bed in two moves. In three steps she's at the door, knocking softly and calling Vicki's name.**

 **"Vicki, sweetheart what's going on?" Olivia asked.**

 **Fuck.**

 **Vicki bit the inside of her cheek and wiped her face. She grabbed a towel off the rack and wrapped it around her body before cracking the door open with a fake smile plastered on her face. "I'm fine..." She said before Olivia could open her mouth.**

 **Olivia leaned against the door and raised an eyebrow at her, "I heard you crying. So that tells me that you are not fine." She said.**

 **Fuck you Detective Benson!**

 **Vicki huffed in exasperation.**

 **She stood in the middle of the room staring at Olivia, with her arms folded. This woman never let up.**

 **"I'm not beautiful." She mumbled.**

 **"What was that?" Olivia asked.**

 **Tears begun to slip down Vicki's face and she pulled the towel tighter around her frame. "I'm not beautiful." Vicki said.**

 **Olivia steadily moved across the room towards Vicki, not wanting to scare the petite brunette. She placed her hands on Vicki's arms, noting how small her arms are when her fingers circled around and touched. She moved her hands gently upwards until she was cupping Vicki's face, "You're the most beautiful woman I have ever met."**

 **If Bill Harris broke Vicki...Olivia was gonna break his face.**

 **Vicki couldn't believe the words that fell without effort from Olivia's mouth.**

 **She couldn't seem to control her emotions around Olivia. This woman was breaking her down brick by brick.**

 **"You really care for me don't you?" Vicki asked Olivia, looking her dead in the eye.**

"Of course I do." Olivia said. She pulled Vicki into a hug and held on. She would be strong for her.

Because when Olivia Benson loves someone, she loves unconditionally.


End file.
